Meaty reason
by lotus-bugxm9
Summary: In-N-Out was the bomb! Even in space for that is what a certian young captain Kirk is soon finding out with a slyish smile for who knew it would be so distracting? Yeah, he did. Spirk.


**Title: **Meaty-reason

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything Star Trek

**Author:** lotus-bugxm9

**A/N:** This story is meant to be funny for I don't know about you guys but I am addicted to In-N-out burger!! I have not had one in a while but when I do get the chance I will most defiantly be pigging my heart out for they are soooo damn yummy!! Don't know a lot about Beaming?? So I made it up an also I do apologize for the bad characterization to come of Spock and Kirk X Bones for I just wanted to do something craky and unloose without caring to much about it being perfect! Hehe

**Enjoy**

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The bridge was silent as McCoy pushily walked through the sliding doors with a whoosh of cool air for he was fresh off of lunch break now as he was full and ready for a nap damit not that he was ever going too get one. Taking his place at his station seeing nothing out of place was he suddenly insulted by a strange type of smell for what was that? It…it smelled, incredible! Nose twitching as he narrowed his eyes as he turned around to face the captain's chair was he with a shock made aware for the first time hence he wasn't quite alone as he had previously thought.

For sitting in his chair legs propped up and hanging idly over the sides as he shoved with salty- fingers what looked to be, golden –crisp, French -fries into his mouth did Bones blinking in disbelief take it all in. Looking this way and that seeing no one else yet to have entered the manual did Bones with a frown on his face now in a clearing of his throat march straight up to his friend and sarcastically, amusedly, accuse him of his latest adventure.

"Jim, what in heck's name are you doing?" The doctor insisted widely.

"What-?" Came the muffled reply the blonde choking down around a larger then life mouthful of cheeseburger as he chewed it now along with the many French fries slowly with a roll of his blue- eyes. "Ca-n'r a man eat?" He asked with a smile of beef.

"Yeah you can but in the mess hall only!" Bones staggered his mouth slightly hanging open in raw curiosity that this man in front of him could be chewing so much food in one bit fir it was both sickening, and absolutely, astounding to watch. "This is the bridge Jim! If you do remember, as people work here and are about to parade in any moment as we can't have you in here making a racket, lunch time is over…!" He struggled.

"….Uh-oh, whatev---er" Kirk swallowed thickly.

Crossing his arms now McCoy watched the young man turn away from him now too swing around in his chair to slurp loudly on what appeared to be a milk-shake not that he knew how he got it did! For shaking his head did the Doctor prefer searching out the, evidence. Next to the Captain's black chair was what appeared to be a large greasy- bag; its patters of red-stripes, and palm trees somehow being very familiar in someway?

Having an euphony of memory shortly later as he pondered did Bones with raise of eyebrows watch on in a matters of moments Jim complete his first burger and then digging deeply into that mystery bag pull out yet another! But this time it was much bigger. Overflowing with sauces, hints of lettuce, onions and everything else he in awe of his captain in a large bit watched him sink his teeth into with a squirting of juices for there is were Bones with a flashback finally remember! Dear gods…..

"Where did you get th…-?!" The astonished bewilderment.

"B-eamed it". Jim hiked down.

"Beamed it!?" The Southern sputter.

"Sure did Scotty owned me a,…. F-aavor" The young Starfleet captain mussed picking out things now with his fingers and eating them with a flickering of his tongue as he chewed on like a god damn, wild beast. "So he bought me lunch." A simple shrug.

"Really"

"Ye-pp"

"Is that really though a….?" Bones licked his lips.

"In-n-out Burger?" Kirk finished for him ripping open a packet of mustard with his teeth as some splattered on his chin yet the guy was already covered for there was not one single napkin in sight! Troublesome Jim as always the Doctor silently cursed. "The authentic stuff too my friend!…. fresh from the sunny coast of California; in the centure of h-Hollywood! For me and Scotty while waiting for the order sure as hell had a nice time....." He chuckled squeezing the yellow paste now on-top the half eaten pieces of meat throwing the empty packet to the floor without a care.

"Haven't had one of those in years…" Bones tried though he was thoroughly annoyed now as the sounds of footsteps now interning into the bridge alerted him that the crew was indeed back from the lunch break as well now. "Man those are good ass burgers!" He recalled his mouth now if he didn't know any better working in a chew on his gums his mouth empty and dry and positively drooling as he continued to watch…..

"Thee best in the worl-ddd!" The thrilled moan earning now man passing stares from the crew as those feet continued to swing lazily as yet more packets of ever kind were being tossed to the floor. "Mmmm… so so goodddd!"

If Bones didn't know any better the captain it seemed was having a little to much fun here for the man was either half starved to death? Or he was doing a show of it for turning now back to him with a face did he himself have to, swallow. For judging by the bag Jim had stuffed he was really hungry or was there a picnic he had missed? For no way in hell was he eating all that food by himself! Shit.

Gaze continuing to suspiciously eye him did McCoy beginning to feel an arch in his stomach for though he had just ate the sight of Jim nearly making love to his double cheeseburger was enough to make any man go crazy. Pulling his straw up and down which was noticeably pink for strawberry did the captain with a low belch sprinkle more salt onto his fries as it was a endless supply for how big had that lunch bill been? Great Scotts of hell metal.

Still not over the concept his captain had played around with the beam system and had used it for such a thing as take-out Bones not being able to take it any longer his mouth utterly dry did he sigh dramatically in defeat for why the hell not! The guy was a damn flaunter.

"Do you think I could….?" He began a bit hesitantly reaching down a hand to the fires which laid seated on the left armrest in a floodgate of red as the smell of all the grease an mouthwatering- burgery-goodness was too much a thing to miss out, on. "Share" He was inches away.

"Nope," The audible slap.

"Don't be an ass, Jim!" A second slap.

"Don't be a moocher t-hen!" Grumbled resort.

"Come on! Just one small fry or at least a trade of something from that greasy stash at you, feet!" Bones called fighting now with the captain as he attempted to bend down further and grab the bag the blond blocking with his raised feet. "For why all the food? Miss dinner last night? Breakfast? For is there something I'm missing perhaps I should know about as the damn CEO of this starship!? New cravings maybe…." He gave his good friend a firm looks in the eye trying to see past the bullshit as the blonde continued too swing his legs in their ruckus.

"Nope, I am perfectly…. fine!" Jim called winking now at a passing Lt. She giggling at his messy appearance as his pea green- shirt now was stained with ketch-up a who knows what else. "But Sorry Bones this and those of off limits" He bricked with raised eyebrows nibbling on fries no signs at all of being full for the theory that the captain secretly had been starving was beginning to look more like a fact? Hmm.

"You sure are one son bitch today you know, that?" The Doctor finally caved watching as big pieces of tomato now slipped out of that double stack and onto the handsome kid's front as a bib seemed to be in dire service. "And may I add on the crazy side not that you aren't every damn day, night, and yesterday as it is a stress taking care I like to remind you being the one to personally to have your own bed made in the sickbay with its a nicely round up fancy shinny title and all to go with it;….moocher my ass!" He hollowed once again attacking for a fry.

The control panel now full of the smell of in-n-out a smell some might be familiar with and some not did the captain sitting joyfully in his chair continue to get many looks of intrigue an disgust from one say Lt. Uhura as he quickly gave her a sloppy thumbs up grin. Things were looking grim for a command to Sulu at the Con a sputter of half chewed cow burst from his lips did Bones smack himself in the forehead.

What a pig! He had forgotten.

"Captain?" A soft inquiry.

Looking up startled somehow in a halting expression of chewing measurably his lips opening in an O! Did Kirk's icy water gaze looking up now see that of his First- offer who was standing acute in waiting too speak. ….

"Oh, good Spock there you are!" Jim threw. Swallowing as he waver his hands now while sticking selected fingers one by one in his mouth too suck them the Vulcan's tonic expression composed as usual did Bones watching the exchange more closely sense something slight off however. "You're just in time I have a new report for you to look over at once its highly important." Firm nodding of head.

"Of course, sir" The darkly brunette accepted instantly with a curt incline of his head for McCoy narrowing his eyes looking back and forth between the two was he suddenly surprised to note the Vulcan looked slightly unfocused, his eyes moving around the bridge and then hurriedly back to Jim. "…But on a question if I may ask?" A thick swallow the Doctor swearing the officer who normally was such a pointy-earned -bastard; was looking mighty green around the gills for if he didn't know better the man was showing signs of illness…..

"….Yes" Kirk eeeped again pigging out.

"What is that smell…..?" The rushed whisper.

"Smell?" Jim frowned.

"He's talking the about damn burgers you, idiot!" Bones accent went swooshing out for something was defiantly wrong with the up-tight Vulcan his hands being fisted intensity behind a stiff back. "It's hard not to miss" He huffed.

"Zip it!" Jim cracked between a mouth full back at his pestering friend as he with puffed out cheeks returned his full attention back onto his awaiting first officer as he wiped at his mouth with a sleeve. "Sorry again what was that Spock…-?" Licking his lips repeatedly now the Vulcan's pale skin if McCoy was correct broken out now with a light sheering sweat….did Vulcan's sweat? Of course they did!….those green- blooded-mathematicians were a done deal…their was still so much to learn about them and their small species it was overwhelming.

"That smell? What is it…..?" Was the cool repeated question the Vulcan seeming even more frantic if that was possible as the Doctor with raised eyebrows watch those hands drop to the sides. "It seems most familiar somehow yet I have never before smelt it on this,....ship?" Nervous licking of the lips? What was going on! Bones scream to himself was the man having a break-out fit?……

"Um,… it's a burger" The unsure answer.

"….Burger?" A perfectly speared eyebrow raised.

"It's a human classic you see of meat, and chees…." Jim began listing off things in his head unaware of the twitching in the left eyelid of his second in line of captaincy as those soft looking pink lips were tightly perched in a hard-line of failing control. "It's mainly all meat you see for theirs a bun topped of either onions, pickles, tomatoes, all different types of sauces and is so good…mm…wow….for in-n- outs is the bomb in burger paradise! Because it is a meat lovers fantasy come true for screw all those veggie rip offs I am officially in love…." The captain rejoiced.

"It's, going to be a long, long, long…day" Bones sighed wearily.

"Here do you want a bite?" Kirk suddenly asked of the Vulcan standing up now with his offered half mutilated cheeseburger in hand as there were many Starfleet who were gasping in shook turning to look at the pair in their seats glued to the screen. "….For I know how much you love meat." He smiled tongue licking at teeth as the Vulcan's face now distinctively a shade of light sea -foam seemed too crack in half.

"Sure, go right ahead an ask him why don't ya!" Again murmured Bones.

Holding the burger out to his First with raised eyebrows still deciding on weather he was going to take it or not was Jim pleasantly shocked as he batted his blond lashed to see that near conflicted facial expression as they stood remaining too bore holes into each others, foreheads. Over about a moment later his hand lowering with a shrug about to turn around once again to flop down into his sill warm chair was Kirk stood corrected at his, hunch.

For with swiftness he did see coming was the burger in light brown-wrapper whisked out of his hand as Bones and the rest of the bridge could only watch on in pure amazement as the Vulcan took the bait right off the, hook. Turing the burger in his slender yet powerful fingers his lips opening up too take down a bite close to the captain's very own did the Vulcan gaze never wavering from that of blue tear off a piece an chew.

There was a static void in the room. The captain and the first-officers behavior strange at that but nothing to abnormal as the crew was all use to it by now the two having a somewhat strange companionship.

"Ah, damit it look what you made me do, Bones!" Jim suddenly cried out looking in a flash to his pants or more his crouch as there bull's eye was an large yellow stain of spilt mustard as he bend over licking his thumb tried to rub it off. "On my new dry cleaned pants too! Crap I am going to have to take care of this immediately…..Sulu you have the Con now…. As I will be right back; just need to go to the restroom on the third corner to the left to get myself cleaned up nice and pretty…..Spock! Follow at duty." The captain said quickly the words running together as he with that said in a tight smile and flashing eyes did he leave the bridge in a hurry.

"What just happened?" Someone confusedly asked.

Looking around now to the many baffled faces of the Enterprise crew did Bones circling now to come back to face First- officer Spock were his eyes suddenly widening in panic did he see no one any longer standing behind him. Looking around cursingly did the Doctor at the last seeing rushed feet leading to the door did he call out to the commander the Vulcan not halting in his hast of leave did he yet embark in a speedily, farewell.

"I shall go check-up on the captain now" The half human -half-alien species said Bones seeing just a flicker of his turned face in time to gulp at the look he saw there for was sure as hell going down." He did not seem at all well as he may be in need of assistance" And with did the doors with a whoosh of cold air and a snap did they close.

"Assistance my ass…." Light sniggering.

Back pressed up against a wall now as he waited did Jim taping his foot on the ground a sign of impatient the adrenaline rushing in his veins could he not help by smile largely for man was he in trouble now. Though, it was something he welcomed for it had been part of the plan after all and now that it was done was there only empty time now left for him too wait.

Eyes square on the door of the bright restroom was he momentarily distracted by the beeping of his, communication-device for when it came to look back up mere seconds later was he suddenly falling sideways in a jump of startled surprise.

For standing now directly in the entranceway of the restroom eyes darker then the deepest space as he breathed unevenly hard through his nostrils was Jim welcome by the sight of Spock the Vulcan's sweaty fists shaking.

"Come here too beat the shit out, me?" A smug smile.

"Affirmative," The breathless hiss.

"You know its one right?" Jim couldn't help but ask.

"Indeed"

"Fine, then give me your best shot vegetarian!"" The blond growled pushing of the wall with curling clawing fingers as he hunched low in for the defense his laughter slipping past him out of control. "For I know you want too sooooo very bad! For one word burgers rule and Vulcan's drool in the,…. dirt! That my friend meaning that was back there one heck of a nice, smelly, meaty, piece of dead co-…" Alluring provoking words they may have been they all in a gasp lost oxygen were lost…..

Because with that said incompletely in a lounge so fast Kirk could hardly believe it was his body being slammed up against the silver titled walls of the men's restroom as he was from there on sexually harassed by the Vulcan who hungrily kissed his greasy,-burger tasting, lips. But then again this was what he wanted wasn't it? A little piece of his lover disintegrating perfect not unhackable- control? Yep life was good. Because sliding down in a tangle of limbs and discarded clothes was this precisely what the captain had in mind when he had first woken up this morning…..

……. as cravings were certainly bitches

**Minutes later**

Walking through the doors was one Jim Kirk with a happy smile relaxed as he caving his next to the side with a clap of his hands did he nod his head in returning greetings to all those stunned onlookers.

"So how was it?' Came Bone's voice.

"What?" Asked a befuddled approaching merry Captain.

"Your ass kicking?" Was the secret snort.

"A perfect, melody, actually thank you…." Jim smoothed now at his best buddy's shoulder biting into his lip which was twice the normal size do to swelling as he fold his arms over his still pounding chest. "For one sniff of In-N-out Bones! Even if it's microscopic now that I know he's part blood- hound also and the guy goes totally, ape shit! It's so weird…..and secondly he gets horny as hell for did you see how he was sweating!....turning green!?…for wow that back there was?…ww-as….some of the hottest, greatness, bathroom sex I have ever had" A low whistle with flushed cheeks.

Blinking his eyes rapidly once against the feeling in his stomach truly different now from that of before did Bones pretending he wasn't listening continuing in his work the source now of listen-too-your-love-sick captain radio; At full engage.

"For having him take that one small bite! Was one the most brilliant planes I have ever, made!" Jim continued in stage whispers doing his best as they talked to fix his ruffled hair yet the strong smell coming off of him now a dead give away of having just gotten back from getting some, booty. "Because it worked wonders on are relationship in ways I never thought I would understand as we are totally in sync, now" He awed in extreme.

"Wonderful" McCoy mussed with a tight smile at all this news; news he wasn't necessarily wanting to hear for himself in detail for turning around quickly as he clamped his friends shoulder did he give him a sidelong look. "Its always good news to my ears Jim to know you two are being civilized with each other for god knows I sick and tired of ya both beating each other up seemingly senseless! But another thing thank you back for that little last bit of info as I will most certainly never be walking ever again into that restroom on the third corner, too the right, are we clear? Yes? good…….goodbye jackass" He chuckled pushing past the captain who smiling followed suit heading back to his empty chair in a slow stride smugness.

"Who knew though that the killer of the Vulcan would be that of In-N-out!?" Jim quoted a hand being placed to his heart as Bones turned back with clipboard in hand to shake his head bothersome but with, good- sprit." For I sir Kirkalot have indeed found a weakness my friend! See Spock he's a strict vegetarian not that this whole Starfleet doesn't know! And I the conniver in a battle of seer will captioned over him with my strength to bear showing him the white light of righteous, goodness that thee be of, meat!" The cocky poetic declaration.

Jim had in fact for the last several months been give his best efforts in trying his own go at veggie diet placed on him by his First-offer claiming too be that of his boyfriend yet it had not been working out landing him more or less a big fat F on his grade score. The thing that had really started it not being that long ago when he on leave being he had made the mistake of returning to Starfleet docking quarters; with a take out order of In-N-Out burger.

Because like what had just taken place definably in that bathroom even back then with one smell of the meat of the famous burger- homemade- company had it made the Vulcan react similarly as it had a voodoo sort of pull on him Kirk still couldn't quite, explain. But now that he understood it the properly logical man breaking now that of his own rules was the Captain of the USS. Enterprise convinced things were a changing for the meaty better….

"Sure, sure, go back to your seat already!" Bones crowed dismissively wavering a hand as the blonde made hand gestures on his walk backwards which had the Doctor rolling his eyes yet again before adding. "And pick up all your trash while your at would ya!? For this isn't a hotel and for god sake Jim I'm a Doctor not a damn Garbage-man! And would you please, zip the fly!" He called out loudly for all too hear.

"…..Say captain" Jim mussed narrowing his eyes as he gave his long time friends a visible finger the Doctor laughing as he walked away muttering to himself about pestersome insect repellants did Jim do just that pulling the zipper up with a nod of his, head. "And Vulcan slayer….!" He teased bumping into now a certain brunette on his way back in to station as there was a quick connecting glance as the captain dropped his tenderized rear back now into the chair with a not so well hidden yelp out of "I love you too!" did he resumed duty.

Watching that straight back walk away with memories of that slight pull of lips into a smile freshly alive in his head did Kirk smirking in return crossing his legs with watering eyes reach on down for the rest of his remaining lunch. Hands only returning to grasping out at air did his face turning suddenly red did he spin around in his chair with ungracefully moment to bark out his, orders.

"Hey! Which one of you dogs stole my stash of burgers!" Was all he said.

**Hope you liked it!! I am normally an Anime fan-fiction writer so please don't be too harsh with the reviews peeps for I am still getting the hang of this for hugs and cookies out too you all!! And no this is not my first time writing slash just something new in a different fandom for me okay as I will in the future try out different better things.**

**Ps. Spock in the movie losses control so it's no big leap for me to think he could do it again being his emotions are clearly more pronounce in the new movie then they ever were in the TV series. So him becoming horny for Kirk and his burgers isn't all that big a deal for me for clearly he had his horny Vulcan I don't give a *&$#!! moments with Uhura!! Which I fluffily enjoyed but never in the sense of KxS for he is capable of feeling and I adore that about the new Spock!! So hot…ZQ!! I freaking worship you!!**

**Also I don't know if Spock is a veggie or not? I just went with it. Too**** I hold NOTHING against Vegetarians for I luv ya'll!!**

**R&R!!**


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